Leaders Toolbox #6

5 Steps for Dealing with Conflict within Your Group

1. Expect it.
Conflict surrounded Jesus during his ministry…and he was God. It's coming your way. Paul and Barnabas had conflict and had to separate. If the guy nicknamed “encouragement” and the guru of theology are going to disagree…guess what? Kids will too (And so will you). Expect it to be part of your ministry and leadership.

2. Watch For It.
All behavior has meaning. Every move our students make is telling you something important about the condition of your flock. While teens certainly struggle to verbally express how they feel, their actions and behaviors are communicating what is going on in their world. Always be on the lookout for signs of conflict between your students.

3. Prepare Them For It.
Your students should hear from you that conflict is a normal thing that we all face. They should also know that there are healthy ways to deal with conflict that both glorify God and bring peace to our relationships. Let kids know that you expect conflict, you're watching for it, and you're ready to help them deal with it. Share with them stories of how you're working through conflicts in your own life.

4. Walk Them Through It
Kids will tell you about a problem that they have with someone else and then expect you to handle it for them. Don't try to solve conflict on behalf of your students. Students need to "own" their part in the conflict and the resolution. Take the students to Watermark's "Peacemaker's Pledge" resource from the Lord of the Rings Series and help them prepare to get face to face and know what to do once they're there.

5. Follow It Up
Tensions rarely disappear after one round. Check in with students that have struggled with conflict to see how they are doing at maintaining peace in their relationships.