Leaders Toolbox #26

The Art of Asking Questions

One of the most important things small group leaders need to master is the art of asking questions. It is through great questions that we are able to pave the way towards deeper understanding and application of God’s word.

Advantages of Asking Great Questions:

• Great Questions allow the student to talk and the leader to listen.
• Great Questions lead to heart examination, discovering struggles, and a deeper understanding of who God is.
• Great Questions challenge students to take ownership of their faith.
• Great Questions lead students to think for themselves.
• Great Questions allow students to hear and learn from other perspectives.

Click HERE to download "9 Keys to Asking Great Questions"

Leaders Toolbox #23

What to Do at Wake

Pre-Program
1. Rally the Kids You Know
Discover the routine for your group and roll with it. Kids like to have a familiar place to connect when they arrive. Couches? Booth? Kitchen? Video Games? Pool? Ping Pong? Foosball?

2. Include Visitors
We’ll try to bring visitors to you but try to keep an eye out for loners, wanderers, and stragglers. Welcome new students into your circle. Talk to them about what to expect or just ask questions about where a person lives, goes to school, etc. Keep them with you all morning. Invite them to sit with you and your group.

3. Follow Up with Both
Be sure to remind your kids about the when and where of Small Group. Have visitors fill out an Info Card and ask them what they thought about Wake. Encourage them to come back and memorize their name so you can remember it the next time you see them.


During the Program
1. Sit with Kids
Shared experience is a great way to build relationships. Kids will feel a sense of value and connectedness when leaders sit with them instead of congregating with other adults in the back of the room.

2. Keep the Peace
We rely on our leaders to police the mosh pits, regulate cell phone usage, discourage side conversations, prevent disruptive coming and going, and be on the lookout for anything creepy or unusual.

3. Engage with the Program
Pretend like you’re a camp counselor. The kids follow your lead. You make the energetic times more energetic, the games more exciting, the skits and videos more funny, the worship more authentic, and the messages more meaningful.

Post-Program
Follow the Curriculum – Click "Messages/Resources" above

Leaders Toolbox #22

3 Types of Courage Essential to Leadership

1. Courage to Speak Up

1 Samuel 17:26
David asked the men standing near him, "Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?"

A leader needs to be able to stand up and say, “This isn’t right. Somebody needs to do something about this.” Encouraging the downcast and teaching the unlearned are the easy tasks of leadership, but correcting the unwise and rebuking the sinful require courage.

2. Courage to Step In

1 Samuel 17:28 & 32-33
28 When Eliab, David's oldest brother, heard him speaking with the men, he burned with anger at him and asked, "Why have you come down here? And with whom did you leave those few sheep in the desert? I know how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is; you came down only to watch the battle."

32 David said to Saul, "Let no one lose heart on account of this Philistine; your servant will go and fight him."

33 Saul replied, "You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a boy, and he has been a fighting man from his youth."

A leader needs to be willing to step into a situation and fight on behalf of others who will not fight for themselves and are resistant a fearful of any sort of battle. Both Eliab and Saul basically told David, “This is none of your business” and yet he was not deterred. A leader is not thrown off mission by resistance…Even when the resistance comes from his own team. A leader has the courage to get involved even when he isn’t welcome.

3. Courage to Help Yourself

1 Samuel 17:34-35 & 37
34 But David said to Saul, "Your servant has been keeping his father's sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, 35 I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it.

37 The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine."

David was only able to help free the nation of Israel from the oppression of the Philistines because he had already experienced victory in his private life. A leader must be trained to trust God by facing down his own personal enemies before he is able to help others face their enemies. It takes humility and courage for a leader to first tackle the lions and bears that are attacking his own livelihood. Then he will have to courage and experience to tackle the giants that are facing his people.

Leaders Toolbox #21

8 Keys to Communicating Well During Bible Study

1. Communicate Your Heart
You are for them and there for them. You are excited to share God’s Word with them. You want them to receive God’s Word in a real and authentic way.

2. Communicate Your Goals
Goals can be general: love Jesus more, pray for each other more, listen well, etc. Goals can be very specific; that they would understand verses 1-11 in the first chapter of Phillipians, memorize a certain verse that week, etc. Goals can be determined based on where a group is at.

3. Help Them Transition to Bible Study
Find a connection point (could be sports, music, school, game systems). Tell a compelling story. Tell your own story. Lean in, look them in the eye; allow your facial expressions and your voice to let them know you see the value in what they are going to learn.

4. Create a Good Rhythm
An equal balance of the following: Explanation (explaining the text), Illustration (always good to share your own life stories), and Application (make it real for them)

5. Ask Good Questions
On a scale of 1-10, where are we/you at when it comes to _______? What would it look like if we all __________? How did that make you feel? Don’t be afraid to use an object to signify who is answering the question; so that not everyone is answering the question at once.

6. Be Flexible, Yet Focused
Be okay and patient with awkward silence. Remind them of main ideas. Feel the freedom to go off on an appropriate tangent.

7. Handle Distractions
I usually sit next to who I think is going to be the biggest distraction. The Pause: If the kids are talking too much, I will sometimes stop and let them continue to talk and one of them has the opportunity to step up and say guys we need to listen. This usually works. The Conversation: Don’t be afraid to talk with a student that talks a lot before or after a group. For example, you could say “I so value your opinion, I love listening to you! But, I really want to give everyone else a chance to share what they’re going through and hear the questions that they may have about this.”

8. Finish Strong
Go around and have the students tell you what they heard that night, this is a great way to review! Answers can be pretty interesting. Pray for them; have them pray for each other (they learn to pray by praying!)

Leaders Toolbox #19

3 Things Parents Need to Know From Leaders

1. You are safe.
Parents need to know that you will be responsible for the emotional, physical, and spiritual well being of their son or daughter. Here are three things you can do to help parents trust you as a safe person in the life of their child. First, keep your word. Do what you say you’re going to do when you say you’re going to do it. Second, be knowable. Connect with parents on Facebook or Twitter so they can observe who you are and the way you live. Spend time in their home before and after Small Group meetings sharing your personal life with them. Finally, make mature decisions. When the kids want to ride on the roof or your car, sneak out at 3:00am, or go watch a questionable movie, ask yourself, “What would our most conservative parent do in this situation?”

2. You are available.
Parents need to know that you are available as a resource and partner as they seek to shepherd their son or daughter. Make sure they have your contact information and know that you’re eager to connect with and serve their family. Answer calls and return calls promptly. Warning! You will find all different types of family dynamics and you want to be aware of potential pitfalls. The big ones are A) losing trust from the kids because they feel like you’re talking about them behind their backs and B) being manipulated and thrown off mission by parents with a separate agenda.

3. You are not wasting their time.
Parents need to know that Watermark activities are leaving a lasting impression in the life of their child. Small Group will slip on the priority scale if all they ever hear about is goofing off and reports like, “Small group was so fun. Our leader is incredibly funny.” Parents need to observe that you are prepared for, intentional with, and in charge of your Small Group meetings. Kids should walk away from each meeting with something deeper than a fun time. Consider sharing the content of your Bible studies with parents whenever you send out reminder emails for meetings.

Leaders Toolbox #11

3 Ways to Finish Strong

1. Evaluate Your Year
Look back and assess what you have accomplished as a group and as a leader. Be encouraged where you should be encouraged and be challenged where you need to be challenged. Click HERE for a great Group Evaluation resource.

2. Celebrate Your Year
Commemorate the highlights and reward the faithful students who were consistent to the end. Take the group for a special outing, host a sleepover, plan a cookout, get everyone a little gift...Just do something special that communicates the value of 9 months spent together studying God's word, talking about real life, and enjoying each others company.

3. Plan For Next Year
Based on your evaluation, think about what you can do to take your Small Group to the next level in the 2007-2008 school year. Prepare your group now to re-engage in the fall. Review and sign a Small Group Covenant that will stand as a form of accountability for the next year. Maybe even have students write a letter to themselves with some encouragement about being faithful to their pursuit of spiritual growth.

Leaders Toolbox #9

5 Keys to Connecting Visitors at Weekly Meetings

1. Be Aware
It is easy not to have our antenna up when it comes to recognizing new students or student who may feel left out . Be on the lookout every week!

2. Lead by example
It is important for us as leaders to set the example by approaching new students and introducing ourselves. Take initiative!

3. Introduce visitors to other students
The student to student connection can be a huge difference maker. Those students could take the visitor over to fill out a club card or talk to them about what to expect or just ask questions about where a person lives, goes to school, etc.

4. Have students take it a step further
Challenge the students to invite the visitor to sit with them and to be aware the next week if that person comes back. We don’t want new students standing alone in a big room and we don’t want them sitting alone. A student might even want to invite the visitor to join them at their small group meeting that week. It would be huge if a student took the initiative to get a visitors phone number and email.

5. Remember names
A simple way to help you and other students remember the visitor’s name is repeat the name as much as possible in conversation.

Leaders Toolbox #10

6 Spring Reminders

1. Activities vs. Attention
Activities are great. Attention is better. Students crave attention more than just gathering together or having a good time. What are ways you've given attention to your students? Find ways to interact with as many students on a one on one basis as possible. Little things like text messages or coming over 10 minutes early before small group can go a long ways.

2. Numbers vs. Health
Sometimes during the spring season, small groups experience a drop in attendance. Don't get discouraged if there are a few less kids at small group each week. Keep calling and encouraging everyone to join you, and then focus on taking advantage of the smaller group and go deeper in building relationships, accountability, and studying God's word with those faithful few.

3. Adult Chaperone vs. Godly Leader
Sometimes you'll catch yourself being a passive observer of your group. Students need leaders, not sponsors. How are you leading your students? What parts of your life are you sharing with them? What areas of growth are you experiencing that can serve as an example for them? What are you learning in God's word? Who are you reaching out to? What kind of example are you setting and sharing with them?

4. Relevance vs. Relationships
You are not and never will be as cool as a Junior High or High School student. Sometimes our insecurity drives us to try to "fit in" with our kids. We don't have to watch all the coolest movies or listen to the hippest emo music or be a fashion trendsetter in order to have an influence on kids. Reality means more to kids than relevance and real relationships create the best context for authentic ministry.

5. Tunnel Vision vs. Perspective
It's easy to get locked in on a task and get stuck in the rut of the same small group Bible Study meeting week after week. Remember the big picture of building long term relationships in the context of a ministry involving hundreds of people. Get creative in your ministry. Try something new. Branch out and involve other leaders, other kids, and new activities. Get involved in other aspects of the ministry. Is it your time to get on stage? Do you know people who could be great leaders that you need to invest some energy in recruiting?

6. Talking about God vs. Talking with God
Leaders will sometimes find themselves pouring out more than they are filling up. Make sure that you are spending a greater percentage of your time and energy talking WITH God than you are talking ABOUT God. What you need for them, you must get from Him!

Leaders Toolbox #7

Growing Student Leaders 101

2 Timothy 2:2 The things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others.

The best leaders multiply themselves and leave more leaders in their wake. The process of leading is also much easier and more effective with more leaders involved. Developing student leaders within your group will both leave a legacy and enhance the immediate influence that you're having on other students. Here are a few things that we, as adult leaders, can do to cultivate students to become leaders themselves:

1. As a volunteer leader in Student Ministry, you must understand that students can be (and probably are the best) ministers to other students.
Too often it's been said that students are the "future" of the church. The reality is that students should be viewed as valuable members of our body today. We must create an environment where students are challenged to serve others and discover the significant ministry God has called them to right now.

2. As a volunteer leader in Student Ministry, you must understand that developing student leaders is your responsibility.
Cultivating student leaders isn't a program, but rather a process of developing students individually. Our volunteer team has the most access to the individual and the best opportunity to engage in the organic process of growing leaders. Small group leaders can develop leaders more effectively within their small groups than if a few staff members plucked them out into some program.

3. As a volunteer leader in Student Ministry, you must learn to A) Pick out students with leadership potential, B) Paint a picture of their potential for them, and C) Position them for success.
Students need to hear from us that they have what it takes to lead others. Some teenagers believe that if they're not outgoing or popular, or lack the upfront-type personality, that they can't carry out the work of the ministry. It's important for us to encourage them and to challenge them by pointing out to them the potential that they have. They need to be shown specific ways that their lives can make a difference and be encouraged with practical steps they can take to test and develop their leadership skills. Start them in their comfort zone and slowly expand their horizons.

Leaders Toolbox #3

Small Groups - 3 Keys for Living Life Together

As our small groups re-engage and as new groups are launching, we wanted our leaders to be equipped with 3 key values that will help make any small group great.

1. Encourage and model communication, humility, and respect.
One activity that some of our leaders have used to begin to build these attributes into their groups is this "Getting to Know You" exercise. Have each group member fill out these forms then mix them up and read them aloud. Have everyone try to guess who's who.

2. Get together often.
Fellowship takes time and it is essential to remember that consistency is one of the key elements of discipleship and community. Refer to numbers 1, 6, 7, and 13 on this "How to Lead a Crummy Small Group" summary.

3. Serve together as a group.
Beyond discussing biblical truths and helping each other through life, nothing will bond your group more than sacrificial service. Click here to see an article by Rick Warren about small groups along with a list of service opportunities at Watermark that might work well for small groups.

Leaders Toolbox #2

How to Grow Our Team - The Leaders' Role

1. Share Stories
What is one specific story you can share with someone who is not connected with student ministries to give them a picture of the ministry that you are personally involved in?

2. Share Vision
Be prepared to explain our ministry to others including...

• Overall Goal For Students: Rooted in, Influential For
• Long Term Investment Strategy: Impact vs. Influence
• Practical Application: Weekly Meetings, Small Groups, Retreats, etc.

3. Share Relationships
Invite & Introduce potential leaders.

• Invite People to Visit (j.crew/shoreline/small group/event/leaders meeting)
• Introduce them to Staff, Other Leaders, and Kids

Leaders Toolbox #1

3 Things You Can do Right Now to Start the Year Off Right

1. Plan Ahead
Get everything on our calendar onto YOUR calendar.

2. Get Busy
Contact everyone in your small group and get your first meeting set up. Or, if don't have a small group, resolve to dive "all in" to Wake or Shoreline by participating, serving, etc.

3. Hit Your Knees
Spend some time praying for Watermark Student Ministries' students, families, leaders, and staff.